Talk
by shecat105
Summary: Karamatsu's marriage with the Ugly Flower Fairy may not have lasted long, but it was just enough to break him a little inside. Jyushimatsu takes notice and decides to have a little talk with his big brother. Also Known As: I had thoughts, then realizations, then this happened, and now you get some feelios with your Cheerios.


" _Hhheeeyyyyy!_ "

Karamatsu jumped to his legs on instinct, the shout breaking him from his thoughts. He blinked at the scene before him. Choromatsu held a tattered magazine, pointing between Todomatsu and Osomatsu. Todomatsu blamed Osomatsu, pointing at him accusingly. Osomatsu objected, his anger showing quicker than normal.

Karamatsu was home. Everything was fine. He didn't have to do anything.

He took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. He noticed Ichimatsu sitting in the corner, a cat in his arms and a suspicious looking grin on his face. Ah, the culprit of Choromatsu's despair.

With his heart calming, his brain started continuing his previous thoughts. A face entered his vision, familiar, and scary. He was told his circumstances were unique, that he shouldn't expect things to happen the same way again. Karamatsu wasn't too certain. It was the only experience he had to go off of. Even his brothers and their friends didn't have the experiences to tell him otherwise. His circumstances were truly unique.

Feeling uneasy with the face in his mind staring at him, Karamatsu focused his attention on going up to the roof. He needed a distraction. Perhaps he could find solace in the fresh air and sunshine.

Not that it had worked previously, but the intention was there and that's what mattered towards moving on. Right?

He could almost hear that scratchy, ugly voice shouting at him, over and over, demand after demand. He'd almost gotten himself killed several times on those demands. And then that night…

Karamatsu hesitated in the upstairs hallway, a shiver began making its way up his arms, his hands a ready caught in the shake. He forced his fists closed, clenched his eyes shut, and thought of something else. Anything else. Like… his brothers, downstairs, shouting at each other, making a scene the neighbors could no doubt hear. It was just enough to allow himself control of his body once again. He focused on his breaths for a moment before returning to his task.

He'd need something to do up there. Something to help keep his thoughts and imagination at bay. Karamatsu turned into his brothers shared bedroom and to the closet. He quickly located his guitar and grabbed it. The promise of music drove him in enough to head up the to roof. He gently placed his guitar on the roof tiles before hopping up himself. He was halfway up when he noticed a yellow sweater just ahead. Oh, Jyushimatsu had already taken a spot on the roof. His eyes were wide and thoughtful as he stared at the clouds above. Karamatsu shouldn't disturb him. With a bit heavier heart than he thought he should have over it, Karamatsu grabbed his guitar and went to slide back down.

"Niisan!"

Karamatsu was startled by the sudden call and lost his grip, stumbling back down to the balcony below and landing on his foot wrong and twisting it as he fell. Pain shot up his leg, letting him know he'd sprained it. He clutched his leg, bringing it close to his chest. "Niisan!?" Jyushimatsu knelt beside him, hands out before him as if wanting to help. Karamatsu tried to hold back the tears in his eyes, but the fell freely anyway.

It was pitiful, really, how just a sprained ankle and some bad thoughts could bring him to tears like this. With one hand still holding his ankle, he brought the other one up to hide his face as he let himself cry.

Large arms wrapped themselves around Karamatsu and brought him up against a warm chest. His body tensed up until the familiar scent of Jyushimatsu hit his nose. His body became limp in the strong arms. With the pain in his ankle beginning to subside, Karamatsu covered his face with both hands. He didn't want to cry in front of his little brother. In fact, their roles should be reversed. Karamatsu should be the one comforting and holding Jyushimatsu through his problems. What a terrible big brother he was. Why did any of his brothers rescue him when this was the inevitable conclusion. He was useless. Well, he would fetch things on command, if someone wanted him to. He supposed that was some sort of plus.

"Karamatsu-niisan?" Jyushimatsu's voice was so light, so beautiful amongst his negative thoughts. Karamatsu shuddered against him. "Does it hurt that much? Should I take you to the hospital?"

Karamatsu's cries had reduced to whimpers. He couldn't reply, so he shook his head. His ankle would be fine. He'd suffered worse.

He felt hollow, with his emotions spent on crying. Hollow and empty. He had no motivation to move, barely enough to sniffle. However, Jyushimatsu shifted him a bit so he could see Karamatsu's face. His painful, tear stained face.

"Feel better?"

Karamatsu didn't even shrug. His mind was so empty besides the thought of that horrible woman in the back of his mind. She seemed to be there all the time, nagging him, demeaning him. Telling him what to do. He just wanted her to go away like she had in reality. Maybe then he'd get some peace of mind.

Jyushimatsu shifted again, carefully so as not to hit Karamatsu's sprained ankle, he sat Karamatsu down in front of him and making them sit face to face. Karamatsu glanced up to see his brothers expression lowered with patient concern. A small thought crossed his mind of how he shouldn't be causing his brothers to worry about him, but he didn't have the energy to care.

"What's going on?"

Karamatsu blinked at him, "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

Jyushimatsu lowered his head slightly in understanding, "When Homura left to go home, I was sad. I had to go and cry a few times because I missed her. But people cry for lots of reasons. Why are you sad?"

Homura? Was that the girls name? Pretty.

Was Karamatsu sad? Maybe a little. That didn't really explain how he felt, though. It seemed underwhelming to call it sadness.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ah, that was an easier question to answer, "She's always there, in the back of my mind. Always saying things. Always telling me things."

Jyushimatsu scooted closer. "The flower fairy?"

The mere title made his heart start beating faster in his chest. He gazed into Jyushimatsu's eyes, willing him to read his mind. His brother blinked in return as understanding. "She was mean." Karamatsu nodded in agreement, although a part of him wanted to refute and defend the woman he had cared for. But he knew the truth. She was terrible, and selfish. Although he did everything to care for her, she did not return the favor. "You don't talk about it." Karamatsu blinked at his brother again, confused. "It bothers you, still affects you, but you don't talk about it. You should talk. When I felt bad, I talked to Ichimatsu-niisan and I felt a little better every time. If you want, you can talk to me about it. Or Totty! Or Osomatsu-niisan! Mom would sit and listen, too. I talked to her once about Homura. Ah, you're close with Chibita aren't you? I bet he'd listen, too."

A sense of terror hit Karamatsu at the notion of talking about his issues, revisiting the hurtful memories and recounting them. Could he do that all at once? He'd probably scare everyone away if he did.

His thoughts were interrupted by a clothed hand on his own. Karamatsu realized he'd shrunken back and into himself, showing how scared the thought made him.

"It's okay, niisan," Jyushimatsu calmly soothed, "You don't have to do it now, and you don't have to do it all at once. You can do a little at a time. It took me a long time before I could start letting my feelings go, even when I talked to Ichimatsu-niisan. It's not going to all happen at once, but it'll help. A little at a time."

Karamatsu felt a little more relaxed at that, his mind whirling to think of something to say. The comfort did help, although he wasn't sure if he'd take up the offer later on. He felt like he should say something now, though. To repay Jyushimatsu for his kindness to him.

"Sometimes… I wonder if she actually cared. She never hit me. She didn't really hurt me at all." A little white lie. But only to save himself from the pain of memory. "I think that… maybe her words were just her way of trying to make me better. That she just didn't know how to say it. Maybe she tried to show she cared but it came across so harshly."

"You know that's not true, right?"

Karamatsu's face scrunched up in confusion. Yes, he knew it wasn't true, but his heart begged him to reconsider. He didn't want to see her as a bad person, even though she was. He knew what he _should_ think but he _wanted_ to think otherwise. A nervous lump started forming in his gut. Wasn't this the cliche example they used in school classes to teach about this sort of thing? What an idiot he was.

"Karamatsu-niisan." He glanced up, a little surprised that Jyushimatsu seemed to interrupt him as his thoughts were beginning to turn negative. His voice was still soft and understanding, yet held a firm undertone that told Karamatsu to listen well and good. "She was bad. She treated you terribly. She didn't care about you. She only cared about herself. You deserve much better."

Karamatsu couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Right. The six of us sure know a thing or two about being terrible people. Takes one to know one, right?"

Without a change in his expression, Jyushimatsu shook his head slowly, "No, Karamatsu. That's not true. We care about each other. We get upset with each other, but we still care. She didn't care about you. We do."

That lump in Karamatsu's stomach rose to his throat and he felt tears prickling at his eyes again. He'd gone so long pretending he felt cared about. So long pretending that his former wife hadn't verbally beaten the feeling out of him. So long pretending she hadn't hurt him in multiple ways he wasn't even sure we're abnormal. Karamatsu's hands rose to cover his mouth as a sob escaped. Tears streamed down his face again, but they weren't tears of pain. This time, they were tears of revelation. The revelation that he _was_ loved, that he had support, that he didn't need to hide his pain from those he loved in return. It seemed to obvious now that he knew it, but it felt like he'd entered an entirely new world. So many possibilities had opened up to him now.

Karamatsu looked up at Jyushimatsu, his brother watching him carefully, patiently. The older brother shot forward and wrapped his arms around the younger, embracing him in appreciation. His sobs continued for a little while and the younger held Karamatsu the entire time.

When he finished, Karamatsu drew back and wiped his face, mucus hanging from his nose. "Thank you, Jyushimatsu. I really needed this."

It was only then that his brother's expression perked back to his naturally happy state. "You're welcome! And remember, when you need to, you can talk to me anytime. Or one of the others."

Karamatsu nodded, a small, but genuine smile on his face for the first time in a while. "I will."


End file.
